It's a pretty dark night and I am blind as a bat to begin with. A shadowy figure emerges out of the alley and starts walking behind me. The only thing I can make out is that the guy is wearing a cap and smoking a cigarette. Then I notice something suspicious - the man slows down when I slow down and quickens his pace when I speed up. I clutch my purse (which has all of one dollar and twenty five cents in it) and play out the defense strategy in my head. First I will whack the guy on the head with my cell phone. Then I will gouge his eyes out and shove my pointed shoes up his ass (or a Zidane-style head-butt could work just as well). Suddenly the shadowy figure speaks out and catches me off guard. It's a woman! She apologizes for lurking behind me and then offers the most unusual explanation, "I am delibertely not walking in front of you since I ate a lot today and have gas problems." I thanked her for being so considerate and walked away briskly.