I stopped listening to "real" news many months ago. For a while I resorted to the Daily Show to get the headlines. These days I just count on cab drivers to fill me in on the latest word on the streets. This evening my informant told me that Osama has the hots for none other than Whitney Houston! Who knew there was an ardent lover behind this cold and unfeeling terrorist. Now the CIA can call off their manhunt and have Whitney scream out his name from the mountain tops of Tora Bora. The world would be a much better place if Osama devoted his time and energy to making Whitney "feel like a natural woman". Whitney in turn will always love Osama if he can supply her with freshly produced heroin.