Ajaira, I always did have an unhealthy suspicion that you ain't from around here...brain drain turned interplanetary diaspora! How do you suppose this newsflash will affect Pluto the Disney dog?
NRPA (Non-Resident Plutonians Association) of USA is calling this newflash nothing but ballyhoo of a sham.
Although the decision to downgrade planethood came from scientists at International Astronomical Association, a contentious NRPA is sticking to its story that after all it is all Plutonic and claiming that the head of IAU reeks of Uranus.
In an "alien"ating press conference, BigMouth-Dwarf, the spokesperson for NRPA told the reporters, "I swear by Hydra, we'll show those SPINCHTER-boys who's the real dinky." Momentary lapse of reason was incited when BigMouth made the (in)famous NRA gesture by Charlton Heston and quoted: "...from my cold, dead hands!" (You see, Plutonians don't have any hands...)
This breaking news brought to you by Venutian ButtPirate; stay tuned for more....
The sky may still be blue, but Pluto no more no more no more...(a planet).
NRPA (Non-Resident Plutonians Association) of USA is calling this newsflash nothing but ballyhoo of a sham. Although the decision to downgrade planethood came from scientists at International Astronomical Association (IAU), a contentious NRPA is sticking to its story and claiming that the Head of IAU reeks of Uranus. The good name of Uranus had been previously tarnished by various touchy-feely, tree-huggers and eco-fascist groups who made similar accusations against environment-unfriendly lawmakers (“They are turning the good earth into a filthy [ur]anus”).
In an "alien"ating press conference, BigMouth-Dwarf, the spokesperson for NRPA told the reporters, "I reckon I ain’t no rocket-scientist, but I swear by Hydra, we'll show those SPINCHTER-boys who's the real dinky; if Karma is a bee, then we'll make them 'anus itch."
A mass mooning was held by Penguins for Uranus (an interplanetary Political Action Committee) during the press conference protesting the blanket accusation. The leader of the penguin PAC, Spinster Black-n-White said, "We just want people to know that Uranus is not a smelly planet." Given the absence of amygdala, momentary lapse of reason was incited when BigMouth performed the (in)famous gesture made by Hollywood actor Charlton Heston (at the NRA convention) and quoted: "...from my cold, dead hands!" (You see, Plutonians don't have any hands...)
In related news, the Disney Dog Pluto is currently under suicide-watch at Betty Ford Rehab. In a misguided effort to break out of his existential lull (inspired by the award-winning movie ‘MARIA FULL OF GRACE’), Pluto was recently busted by DEA agents in Miami for smuggling in premium grade nose-candy from Colombia. The bust had gone haywire as Pluto went belly up. Once the shenanigan subsided, Pluto was released on self-cognizance. When asked for comments on the astronomical significance of the moniker related fiasco and the future of mankind, he appeared Beckettish-pensive and only mumbled, “After all, it’s all very….Plutonic!”
This planetary hoopla of breaking news brought to you by the Venutian ButtPirate; stay tuned for more inane assault on your good senses.
7 comments:
The lesson from all this is that each of us should learn to dominate our respective orbits, otherwise we may be stripped of status.
I thought the lesson was "size does matter" ;-)
Ajaira, I always did have an unhealthy suspicion that you ain't from around here...brain drain turned interplanetary diaspora! How do you suppose this newsflash will affect Pluto the Disney dog?
NRPA (Non-Resident Plutonians Association) of USA is calling this newflash nothing but ballyhoo of a sham.
Although the decision to downgrade planethood came from scientists at International Astronomical Association, a contentious NRPA is sticking to its story that after all it is all Plutonic and claiming that the head of IAU reeks of Uranus.
In an "alien"ating press conference, BigMouth-Dwarf, the spokesperson for NRPA told the reporters, "I swear by Hydra, we'll show those SPINCHTER-boys who's the real dinky." Momentary lapse of reason was incited when BigMouth made the (in)famous NRA gesture by Charlton Heston and quoted: "...from my cold, dead hands!" (You see, Plutonians don't have any hands...)
This breaking news brought to you by Venutian ButtPirate; stay tuned for more....
i may be from pluto but i ain't no illegal alien
Here's THE FULL MONTY:
The sky may still be blue, but Pluto no more no more no more...(a planet).
NRPA (Non-Resident Plutonians Association) of USA is calling this newsflash nothing but ballyhoo of a sham. Although the decision to downgrade planethood came from scientists at International Astronomical Association (IAU), a contentious NRPA is sticking to its story and claiming that the Head of IAU reeks of Uranus. The good name of Uranus had been previously tarnished by various touchy-feely, tree-huggers and eco-fascist groups who made similar accusations against environment-unfriendly lawmakers (“They are turning the good earth into a filthy [ur]anus”).
In an "alien"ating press conference, BigMouth-Dwarf, the spokesperson for NRPA told the reporters, "I reckon I ain’t no rocket-scientist, but I swear by Hydra, we'll show those SPINCHTER-boys who's the real dinky; if Karma is a bee, then we'll make them 'anus itch."
A mass mooning was held by Penguins for Uranus (an interplanetary Political Action Committee) during the press conference protesting the blanket accusation. The leader of the penguin PAC, Spinster Black-n-White said, "We just want people to know that Uranus is not a smelly planet." Given the absence of amygdala, momentary lapse of reason was incited when BigMouth performed the (in)famous gesture made by Hollywood actor Charlton Heston (at the NRA convention) and quoted: "...from my cold, dead hands!" (You see, Plutonians don't have any hands...)
In related news, the Disney Dog Pluto is currently under suicide-watch at Betty Ford Rehab. In a misguided effort to break out of his existential lull (inspired by the award-winning movie ‘MARIA FULL OF GRACE’), Pluto was recently busted by DEA agents in Miami for smuggling in premium grade nose-candy from Colombia. The bust had gone haywire as Pluto went belly up. Once the shenanigan subsided, Pluto was released on self-cognizance. When asked for comments on the astronomical significance of the moniker related fiasco and the future of mankind, he appeared Beckettish-pensive and only mumbled, “After all, it’s all very….Plutonic!”
This planetary hoopla of breaking news brought to you by the Venutian ButtPirate; stay tuned for more inane assault on your good senses.
NPRA has the utmost respect for Uranus and all its happy inhabitants. The comments that appeared on Venutian media does not reflect our views.
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