Thursday, September 21, 2006

Get Your Bearings Straight

My sense of direction is quite appalling to say that least. If I go slightly beyond a well-trodden path or my regular bus route, I am completely lost. The good news is that I don't drive.

One of my friends makes an assertion that women in general have a bad sense of direction. In defense of womenkind, I like to point out that when we get lost, we are at least in the right continent unlike Christopher Columbus. The poor chap wanted to get to India and ended up in North America!


Anonymous said...

Lost (in meaning)...

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops brightideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little signof breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Anonymous said...


Ajaira Pechal said...

Great video.... love the "white and nerdy" glasses and haircut :-)

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Columbus, Columbus Day is coming up. How about you sail away, rediscover and rename Inner Mongolia?