Butterflies are Free

You see a light

You hear the call

And if i don't let you fly

I don't know you at all

So go on and roam

See all that you can

Born unto this earth a curious soul

You and you alone

Can make you feel whole

But don't i add truth

You've never known

(Lyrics by Debbie Gibson)

Life is Short

I am vertically challenged and that has always been a bit of a sore point. In my passport I lied about my height and added two inches to my soaring five feet stature to make it look a little more respectable. Here are some of the everyday inconveniences and indignities I am subjected to because of my height:

1) Since my last name is high up on the alphabetical order my mailbox at work is at the very top. Even in my heels I have a hard time reaching it.

2) I have to stand on my toes to reach the handrails on the metro bus and sometimes I end up hanging from the bar like a monkey.

3) I have to scurry to keep up with people with long legs. Otherwise, they inevitably leave me in the dust.

4) People have to stoop or crane their neck because they can’t hear me speak. A friend recently told me that I was literally “a pain in the neck”

5) When I go shopping for clothes nothing fits and I need to spend extra $$ to get trousers shortened.

To all the vertically challenged people out there I have a message. Do not despair! At least we make better astronauts. Given the cramped conditions, it’s easier for shorter people to make it out there.

Here’s a link to the Short Persons Support Group http://www.shortsupport.org/

Dumb and Dumber

In this lawsuit obsessed nation, people have to be warned about all potential dangers in order to avoid getting sued. So a coffee cup reads "Contents are Hot" and "Slippery when Wet" signs are put up outside when it rains.

At a baseball game yesterday a friend was buying water from the food stand. The vendor removed the cap and handed him the bottle. Apparently the top was a choking hazard for children who may be present!

Common sense is not just optional..... it's redundant these days.

A Kiss is Just a Kiss....

What could Iran's President Ahmedinejad and Richard Gere possibly have in common? Both have gotten a lot of flak lately for kissing women in public! So who are the lucky gals?

In Richard Gere's case it was Shilpa Shetty. He was attending an HIV/Aids awareness event when he went up on stage, dipped Shilpa and kissed her several times on the cheek in feigned passion. This resulted in public outcry and an arrest warrant for the "obscene" act. Shetty was summoned to court for not "resisting". Why on earth would she resist the sexiest man on the planet?..... and surely a peck on the cheek should be acceptable in the land of the Kama Sutra!

Ahmedinejad was caught red-handed kissing his former school teacher. But it's not what it sounds like..... He was graciously kissing the woman's hand. The lady in question was at least 80. She was covered from head to toe and was even sporting thick gloves. A conservative newspaper declared that it was indescent behaviour on Ahmedinejad's part and proclaimed that it went against Sharia law. Now Ahmedinejad can defend himself Bill Clinton-style and say "I did not kiss that woman". Afterall does kissing someone's hand REALLY count as kissing?

Everyone's familiar with the French kiss but there are some other varieties out there:

- Eskimo kiss consists of two people rubbing their noses

- Butterfly kiss comprises of people placeing their eye close to each other and fluttering their eyelids

- Caterpillar kiss entails people rubbing their eyebrows against each other