Mirror Mirror on the Wall..... Who's the Most Unphotogenic of Them All

I don't photograph particularly well but looking at these two unfortunate creatures gives me solace. Both would have benefited from a kinder face and softer features.

When my friend and I were at the Vatican, we saw a plethora of souveniers containing pictures of the Pope hugging babies. If it were John Paul, the images would have evoked compassion and tenderness. Pope Benedict on the other hand, looked like he was trying to bite their heads off. So my natural reaction was dread, followed by guilt for thinking he looks scary and then back to dread when I realized I am surely going to hell for harboring such impure thoughts.

"O Lord, if there is a Lord.... Save my soul, if there is a soul."

Kangaroo in Austria?

Vienna's souvenier stores are stacked with T-shirts and caps with the words "No Kangaroos in Austria" printed on them. This is not intended to offend Australians in particular but rather a broader attempt to educate ignorant tourists.

Here's a news story that contradicts the kangaroo slogan:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4813976.stm

Enchanting Vienna


Vienna was definitely the highlight of my whirlwind 2 week, 6 country trip. I am terrified of heights but a tour of Vienna is not complete without hopping on the gaint Prater ferris wheel. As we remained suspended in air, 200 feet above the sprawling urban landmass, I summoned all my inner strength to keep myself from digging my claws into my friend's arm. The view from cloud nine was breath-taking. But like all good things in life, this too was transient.

The Art of Eating Cake

It is another beautiful day in Vienna. We find ourselves in a business lunch with a peculiar duo - an endearing Polish man with a delightful sense of humor and a nonchalant Tunisian with a poetic tinge. The Tunisian man tells us that he has laid Vienna at our feet. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows we see the cityscape gleaming in the autumn sun. This is unusually good weather for this time of year and in that moment global warming seems to be a blessing.

As the men load up on caffeine, I give in to temptation and order a chocolate cake. It sits in front of me looking more like a piece of art than food meant for consumption. I feel guilty at first but it's too delectable. So I devour most of it. The Tunisian man looks at the plate with the half-eaten cake and says "You started off with Dali and ended up with Picasso."

Get Your Bearings Straight

My sense of direction is quite appalling to say that least. If I go slightly beyond a well-trodden path or my regular bus route, I am completely lost. The good news is that I don't drive.

One of my friends makes an assertion that women in general have a bad sense of direction. In defense of womenkind, I like to point out that when we get lost, we are at least in the right continent unlike Christopher Columbus. The poor chap wanted to get to India and ended up in North America!

Adam's Morgan Fun and Festivities

It was the last weekend of summer and all the DC residents came out to play. The Adams Morgan street festival was a hodgepodge. A no-nonsense Asian lady selling Jamaican food.... Beef kebabs at the Thai-food stand..... a caucasian woman, dressed in gaudy jewellery and a garish ghaghra-choli, vending Indian jewellery...... It was mind-boggling. Belly dancers taught little kids to shake the "endowments" they don't possess while an elderly woman, with the oomph of a young girl, stole the karaoke scene.

Politicians descended amidst this fanfare and handed out freebies in an effort to clinch precious votes. Unfortunately, 90% of the people partaking in the festivities were not registered DC voters. Upon realizing this, the contenders averted their gaze and their smiles turned plastic and eventually disappeared.

Other than that, it was a marvelous spectacle!

Hungry=Angry

According to BBC there are six types of anger: explosive, argumentative, judgmental, helpless, adolescent and nutritional.

Flaming June

This piece by Frederic Leighton is a rare treat for the senses and seemingly filled with contradictions. It's intense yet tranquil, sensual yet guileless. I finally caved in and bought myself a good reproduction so that I can wake up to it every morning. However, her indolent posture doesn't quite inspire me to rise and shine.

Moon Rocks!

Just returned from yet another pilgrimage to the Air and Space Museum. For me, the moon rock is always the highlight of the visit. Most of the lunar samples we have today were collected during the six Apollo missions between 1969 through 1972. When I think of the billions of dollars and thousands of human hours spent on the lunar missions, I feel truly privileged that just by taking a short bus ride, I can touch a piece of the same moon. Since the moon has very little geological activity, most of these rocks are as old as the Earth itself (i.e. over 4 billion years old)!

Dreaming of churros and hot chocolate..... Mmmmmmm

Beautiful Song for a Rainy Day

Ei meghla din-e ekla
Ghore thake na to mon
Kache jabo, kobe pabo
Ogo tomar nimontron


Somewhat pensive and somewhat playful - this is definitely my favorite Hemanta tune. It's the kind of song that makes you want to fall in love (even if it's only a fleeting thought and lasts as long as the rain does :-))

Here's a link to it:
http://www.dishant.com/album/Best-Of-Hemant-Mukherjee.html

Organ and Tissue Donation

We often hold back from becoming a donor because of preconcieved notions that age and/or illness might rule us out as perspective candidates. The truth is that very few medical conditions would cause your organs to be unsuitable for transplantation. Donated organs and tissues can help various kinds of patients:

- Lungs, heart, liver, pancreas or kidneys
- Corneal grafts to restore failing eyesight
- Skin to treat serious burns
- Bone, when bone grafting is necessary
- Heart valves for use in heart surgery

If you wish to be an organ donor fill out a Donor Card and carry it in your wallet:
http://www.organdonor.gov/signup1.html

Made in China

These days EVERYTHING is made in China - Murano glass, Ghanian fabric, Indian shawls..... Nothing is off limits. From American flags to statues of Hindu gods, it's all being manufactured in China.

Panda Lady

Talk about being pampered!

Steer Clear

My allergies are back with a vengence. I miss the good old days when everytime I sneezed my co-worker would sneeze back in response from the other side of the cubicle. Now that she has left, the drugs trade has come to a halt and I am stuck with only one variety of allergy medicine.

Apparently we use so much force when we sneeze that if we did not close our eyes they would pop out of their sockets. With each sneeze we release thousands of drool droplets containing bacteria into the air. So if you see me coming - DUCK!

The Best Way to Cope with Stress.....

is to get a drastic haircut.

Pluto is no longer a planet
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5282440.stm

Soon it will disappear from the textbooks and we'll go about our lives acting like it never existed.

Explosive Combination

I stopped listening to "real" news many months ago. For a while I resorted to the Daily Show to get the headlines. These days I just count on cab drivers to fill me in on the latest word on the streets. This evening my informant told me that Osama has the hots for none other than Whitney Houston! Who knew there was an ardent lover behind this cold and unfeeling terrorist. Now the CIA can call off their manhunt and have Whitney scream out his name from the mountain tops of Tora Bora. The world would be a much better place if Osama devoted his time and energy to making Whitney "feel like a natural woman". Whitney in turn will always love Osama if he can supply her with freshly produced heroin.

Once Upon a Time on a Greyhound Bus

I had no choice but to sit beside a pothead (that was the last empty seat). He was in a very chatty mood although he could barely sit up straight. As a gesture of friendship he asked me whether I wanted gum and I politely declined. Before I knew it he was taking out the gum he had been chewing from his mouth and handing it to me. When he sensed my distaste, he got upset and grumbled about how standoffish and unsociable I was till he lulled himself to sleep.

Food for Thought

There are more obese folks (1 billion) in the world today than undernourished people (800 million)!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4793455.stm

Fat acceptance movements are springing up within the US to protect the rights of overweight people and change societal attitude towards obesity. They see themselves as an extention of the civil rights movement and are spreading their message through magazines, fat performance arts and conferences. However, many of these groups choose to deny that obesity is a growing health hazard:

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance
http://www.naafa.org

The International Size Acceptance Association

http://www.size-acceptance.org/

A group called Fat Underground has even drawn up a Fat Liberation Manifesto, which ironically ends with the words:
Fat people of the world unite! You have nothing to lose
http://www.largesse.net/Archives/FU/manifesto.html

On Common Sense



Horace Greeley: Common sense is very uncommon

Albert Einstein: Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Anon: Common sense is what tells us the Earth is flat and the Sun goes around it.

Douglas Adams: The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

Victor Hugo: Common sense is in spite of, not as the result of education.

Yours Faithfully

So I was having a chat with my friend about the boundaries in a relationship and what constitutes cheating. Then I recalled this story a cab driver had once told us. He was showing off the new GPS unit in his car and telling us how it comes with 3 voice options - a male voice, a mechanical female voice and thirdly a sexy woman's tone. Obviously he preferred the last one but his wife objected to it. She did not want some raspy-voiced chick (even if it's only a device) telling her hubby where to go while she was sitting at home guarding his nest.

Global Village

The world has over 6 and half billion people today. I am reading a fascinating children's book, which tries to promote a "one world" view. It starts off with the question - if the world were a village of one hundred people what would it look like? More than half the people in that global village would come from the 10 most populated countries in the world.

21 from China
17 from India
5 from the US
4 from Indonesia
3 from Brazil
3 from Pakistan
2 each from Bangladesh, Russia, Japan and Nigeria

This book has temporarily put me in a "lets-all-hold-hands-and-sing-kumbaya" mood. So these days I am trying to be a little more friendly and smiling till my lips reach their elastic limit. Very soon this spell will wear off and I will return to being angry, disgruntled and jaded ME.

Here's the link to "If the World Were a Village" by David J Smith, if you want to check it out
http://product.half.ebay.com/If-the-World-Were-a-Village_W0QQprZ2214136QQtgZinfo

In the Lime Light

Today's public speaking training has made me quite self-conscious. The instructor recommended that speakers are allowed no more than 3 distractions in their head, neck and shoulder area. Apparently my dangley earrings took up two of those points. She did try to make up for it by complimenting me on my "naturally happy disposition". I had chocolate before I walked into the room. So go figure.

Tomorrow she has threatened to video tape us while we speak on a topic of our choice. To top it off, our co-workers will sit around the table and take pot shots at us while we present.

One interesting fact I learnt is that if you lock your knees, it cuts off circulation and causes you to keel over. People in the military (esp beginners) often buckle their knees while trying to maintain their posture and this leads to fainting spells.

Deadly Cocktail

The Center for Science and Environment in New Delhi recently found that the pesticide levels in Pepsi and Coke drinks were more than 36 times higher than the limit set by the European Economic Commission! In some instances, Indian farmers have actually started spraying Coca Cola on their crops instead of paying high prices for patented fertilizers. Other uses of Coke include cleaning toilet bowls and removing rust.

Before 1906, the popular soft drink contained traces of cocaine. It was initially sold as a patent medicine, which was used to cure a variety of ailments starting from headaches to impotence.

Significant Bother

As I hurtle towards the wrong side of thirty, my parents (and the whole extended clan) are making a last ditch effort to help me tie the knot ("noose" might be a more appropriate word). Given that I am no longer 18 and don't rank among the "fair and lovely", here's what I am likely to spend the rest of my life with:

What Do Coffee, Ginger and Green M&Ms Have in Common?


They are all aphrodisiacs! Since sex sells, the candy company Mars Inc decided to cash in on the tantilizing urban legend to boost sales of M&Ms. The ad campaigns featured teasers like "What is it about the Green Ones?" or "She Melts for No One". Since the green M&Ms character is essentially trying to seduce kids, does it make her a paedophile?

http://www.usatoday.com/usatonline/20010914/3632950s.htm

Three Things Banned in Malaysia

1) suicide scenes in Indian movies
2) use of botox by Malaysian muslims
3) naming children after animals, insects, fruits, vegetables, colors, numbers, royalty or Japanese cars (Maruti, Ford and Hyundai have not been struck off the list yet).

What's next - green eye shadow? wiggling your ears?

Read more here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/5229060.stm

Passports and Blonde Bangladeshis

I am renewing my passport ahead of time since I ran out of pages. Thanks to increased security measures following 9/11, Bangladeshis have to get transit visas everytime they pass through a country. So the pages get filled up very fast. Last year I travelled to 4 countries during a whirlwind trip but ended up having to get 6 visas! So taking a spontaneous vacation is not possible if you are the proud owner of a Bangladeshi passport.

As I was filling out the renewal form, I noticed that many of the questions are somewhat pointless. What's the use of asking someone about their eye and hair color when both can be changed so easily? Wearing colored contacts and dyeing one's hair is quite the rage in Dhaka.

Supah Stah

Remember Jeetendra? This Bollywood sex god pioneered the jumping-jack dance move and the "white shirt- white pant - white shoe - red tie" look. He did irreparable damage to an entire generation.

Media Bias


Here are two appalling statistics I saw in BBC articles that demonstrate the extent of media bias:

- During the Asian Tsunami the aid per person amounted to £3,850 but for the victims of the 2004 Bangladesh floods the figure was a mere £1.64 per person.

- The number of deaths in the Lebanon/Israel conflict is 30-40 per day compared to around 100 per day in Iraq and 1,200 per day in Congo. However, Congo hardly gets mentioned in the media.

George Orwell was right afterall. Today's media reflects that "some people are more equal than others".

I Want to be a Mother-in-Law When I Grow Up

In a landmark case in UK , a desi woman filed a harrassment law suit against her mother-in-law for her bullying tactics. She won the case and got 35,000 pounds in damages! (That would be gazillions in dollars)

Wikipedia claims the stereotype that mother-in-laws are "obnoxios, overbearing and unattractive" has carried on since Roman times! This image is now pervasive and universal. There's even a website that lets people vent about their mother-in-laws:
http://www.motherinlawstories.com/

It sounds like a lot fun. I can't wait to be one :-)

This is a snapshot from the Bollywood flick "Swades" (goddam awful movie). Is this a weird set up or is my brain in the gutter?

Close Call

It's a pretty dark night and I am blind as a bat to begin with. A shadowy figure emerges out of the alley and starts walking behind me. The only thing I can make out is that the guy is wearing a cap and smoking a cigarette. Then I notice something suspicious - the man slows down when I slow down and quickens his pace when I speed up. I clutch my purse (which has all of one dollar and twenty five cents in it) and play out the defense strategy in my head. First I will whack the guy on the head with my cell phone. Then I will gouge his eyes out and shove my pointed shoes up his ass (or a Zidane-style head-butt could work just as well). Suddenly the shadowy figure speaks out and catches me off guard. It's a woman! She apologizes for lurking behind me and then offers the most unusual explanation, "I am delibertely not walking in front of you since I ate a lot today and have gas problems." I thanked her for being so considerate and walked away briskly.

Drastic Times

I have never been the most fashionable gal in town but now things have reached rock bottom. In Bangladesh I took my "nice" clothes to the dry cleaners. Then I got caught up in a flurry of activity and had no time to pick them up before I left. As a result, these days I am reaching into the obscure corners of my closet and picking out outfits I had written off a long time ago (including the ugly brown pants). For now I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping there won't be any business meetings, since ALL my suits are half the way across the world.

More Lewis Carroll..........

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die;

Ever drifting down the stream--
Lingering in the golden gleam--
Life, what is it but a dream?

Diehard Fans

Just got back from Bangladesh. Although Bangladesh had no stake at the World Cup, football fever gripped the whole nation. Fans proudly flaunted the flags of their favorite teams from their windows and rooftops. Out of sheer boredom, I decided to do a rough flag-count on my way from Mogbazar to Uttara. Here's what I noted - 21 brazilian flags, 18 argentine, 4 german, 2 italian, 1 saudi, 1 french. My Ukranian co-worker remarked that if he didn't know where he was, he would have guessed that he had landed in Brazil or Argentina. The disappointment was palpable after both countries bowed out before semi-finals.

Most of the diehard fans definately belonged to the Argentina camp. I read in the news that fans stormed an electricity office in Dhaka following a power failure during the Argentina-Germany quarter final match. The same day two people died of heart failure after Argentina lost to Germany in a penalty shootout.

High Tech Throne


I am getting quite used to the everday luxuries of the high tech capital of the world. Unlike the US and Western Europe, innovation has reached the bathroom in Japan. Heated toilet seats, water jets and a choice of soundtracks (including bird chirping and water falls) are all intended to make your bathroom experience more pleasurable. Japan is already on its way to making intelligent toilets that can monitor body weight, blood sugar etc. Soon there will be no need to head to the clinic for health check-ups. All you have to do is make a short trip to the nearest throne. Unfortuantely things aren't looking all that rosy from a lab technician's perspective. Losing your job due to outsourcing is bad enough, let alone being made redundant by a commode!

Tokyo Subway: The Mother of All Puzzles


Finding your way to the right station is difficult enough. But that's only a small part of the bigger challenge. Once you reach your station you have to navigate millions of intertwining tunnels with gazillions of exits. But I have to say it's been fun getting lost underground. It's a great place for people-watching and window-shopping. Plus its a good workout (no wonder people are so lean and fit here).

Who's Da Bomb?

Tokyo entails a LOT of walking. I was trudging to the conference center this morning lugging a fairly heavy bag. One of the conference attendees offered to help me carry it. I resisted and hestitated but eventually gave in and handed over my bag. He was genuinely sweet and extremely charming. During the course of the day, he helped me haul my bag back and forth several times. I was moved by the unexpected kind gesture from the wonderful stranger. It was only later that I realized that he was a hot shot Deputy Minister from Georgia!

Inside the Buddha's Belly

One of the highlights of the Tokyo trip was the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to walk into the Buddha's belly. The hollow statue was packed with people and their voices ricocheted off the walls creating a trance-like drone. The big Buddha at Kamakura was originally housed within a temple which was washed away by a tsunami at the end of the 15th century.

Royal Treatment

We had dinner at an amazing Indian resturant in Kuala Lumpur tonight..... Delicious food, pleasant ambiance, wonderful company and fascinating conversations. Our party included the uncle of the Malaysian King and the niece of an Opus Dei cardinal. It all seems surreal in retrospect.

Visa Woes

Rude Indian Embassy Lady: That will be $20

Me: But your website said that there is no visa fee for Bangladeshi nationals

Rude Indian Embassy Lady: Well there is.... If you want me to process your visa application you have to produce the money

As usual I had almost no cash on me. So I hailed a cab and rushed to the nearest ATM and back in a record 10 mins. I felt I had already paid my dues by waiting in line an hour and a half the first time. So this time I broke the queue typical Bangladeshi style. She didn't appear thrilled to see me......

Rude Indian Embassy Lady: You can pick up your visa next week. It takes at least 5 business days to process

Me: But the website said it would only take a day.....

Rude Indian Embassy Lady:(Silence accompanied by look of exasperation, digust and disapproval)

Me: I am leaving this Friday. (I throw in a pleading look combined with shock and disbelief...... trying to act like things work more efficiently where I come from and people stick to what they put on their website ;-))

Rude Indian Embassy Lady: Ok.... fine..... pick it up on Thursday

Me: Thank you VERY much (in my head I wrung her neck till her eyeballs popped out of their sockets)

Two Things I Carry in My Wallet

A 9-year long "around the world" travel plan that encompasses 40 countries in 7 continents and ends with a trip to snow-covered Antartica....... I dreamt this up during my bout of unemployment right after graduate school. So I didn't quite take my limited vacation time into account. Plus I am still on the lookout for an adventurous yet laid-back travel buddy (now that Sana Haider has moved on and left me to fend for myself).

A 10 Million Turkish Lira note, so that I can go around feeling like a millionaire...... Of course, when it gets too heady and I need a reality check, all I have to do is remind myself that 1 USD = 1.3 million Turkish Lira. (As of Jan 1, 2005 Turkey deleted six zeroes from its currency and issued the new Turkish Lira.)

When it comes down to the stuff that makes the world go around, somehow I never seem to have enough in my wallet to fund a trip to the vending machine or my bus ride home.

"Maternity is a Matter of Fact, Paternity is a Matter of Opinion"

So it's funny that until recently the Bangladeshi birth certificate featured the name of a child's father and paternal grandfather but there was absolutely no mention of the mother.

Bigger is Better

Get your mind out of the gutter..... I am talking about houses. One of my professors made an interesting observation that family sizes are getting smaller but people seem to want bigger and bigger homes these days.

Desperate Measures

I moved to a different part of the office this week and it's quite lonely in my new corner. So I stole an empty candy machine, filled it up with M&Ms and put it in front of my door hoping people would start stopping by. Well, it did generate a little bit of traffic but most of the M&Ms ended up in MY tummy. I need to find a low-fat bait next time.

Just got it this morning, from a fellow blogger ;) Now who in their right mind would pay $100K to meet a Millionairre? How far are you willing to go for your soul mate?

http://www.orlythematchmaker.com/

What Are You Scared of?

Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions
Anuptaphobia - Fear of staying single
Gamophobia - Fear of marriage
Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns
Geliophobia - Fear of laughter
Genuphobia - Fear of knees
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia - Fear of money
Deipnophobia - Fear of dining or dinner conversations

This one is my favorite and I would pay big bucks to see George Bush pronounce it:
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words